Thoughts
by karmen230
Summary: Just some thoughts that Asura has while being trapped in his own skin and that he manages to communicate to shinigami-sama.


Here is a story I wrote a long time ago and that I just found. I'm sorry that I don't update regulary my other stories, but new chapters will be published soon. Right now I'm without ideas and I really don't know what to write about, but the new chapters are nearly finished. I'll also try to update more regularly. I usually get more inspiration for stories when school has started, strangely enough. I wrote this one time when I had a strange inspiration moment at Maths class (It's so boring that I just think and think and that is how I come up with new ideas for stories). It is written from Asura's POV while he is trapped in his own skin. I also repeat: English isn't my native language so I usually commit stupid mistakes. So please don't flame because of this.

Disclaimer: I don't own Soul Eater

Mood: Neutral

Listening to: A beautiful lie from 30 Seconds to Mars

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"Do you remember?" I mean us, when we were both young and naïve, when we thought that the world would be good to us. Even if we both as meisters knew that it was impossible we just wanted it to be true. We were destinied to compete against each other because of our powers… and our clans. In those days friendship between meisters was nearly impossible, and it was even more impossible for us because our clans hated each other. Those were the old days and you changed this when you created Shibusen, to evade something like that from ever happen again. That's a job well done, Shinigami-san.

We were very good friends for such a long time. Even if you were from the clan that my clan hated so much we became friends. I still remember those good days. I also remember everyone's faces when that discovered our friendship. Now you think that it didn't matter to me, and I don't make you guilty for that after what I did. I am not insane. Believe me. I create madness and insanity, but that has got nothing to do with my mental state. It is the real narute of people the one that appears when thay are near a Shinigami or a Kishin.

You told me that you hated the way my clan acted. We were different. You and I admitted it. Or rather, we used to be different. I doubt that we even were different at one point of our lifetimes. My clan killed humans and sometimes members of your clan. They killed them but they didn't eat their souls. Your clan killed the members of my clan, but they didn't eat their souls. We both changed that fact.

When we were young we despised clan-wars and battles. Although we were strong we hated that. That is why the other members of our clans hated us, because we were not loyal to our clans. We were… too different. And the situation was worsened when they discovered our friendship. It was that situation the one that triggered all these events. The fact that I'm now trapped in my own skin isn't a casualty: It was destined.

The situation became so unbearable that we followed our clans customes for the first time in our lifes. We were going to be traitors, and in those times the worst thing that you could be was a traitor. I killed a human and you killed someone of my clan. But that wasn't the end of it. I ate the human's soul and you ate the soul of the one that you had killed. The only difference is that you regretted eating it. I didn't.

When I told you what I had done you were… disgusted. Even if you had done the same thing I had broken a sacred law. I had eaten a human's soul. You had only eaten a Kishin's soul. I had broken the balance. The reaction of fellow clan-members when they saw me eating my first human soul was the same one as yours. They were disgusted.

You and I know that there is no good or evil. But you now have forced yourself to turn beings like me into evil beings. We knew that fact very well. To nearly every being in this world and to our clans the evil one is the one that kills someone that's close to them. This was when the hat chain began. Hate, hate and more hate. That was the only thing that was between our clans: Hate. And between people the same thing could be said, only not so strong. Shinigami are supernatural beings, the same as the Kishin. We aren't gods, we are just one step below. We had the possibility to become more and more like them. I don't know if there is one or countless gods. I ignore that, but I can assure you that we are a few centimetres away from them. Our power is indeed big.

Because of the clans that we were born into we were supernatural beings. Destined to fight or be friends I don't know. I don't know what our clans were destined to do: We both, you and I are destined from now on, to fight once, twice and to continue fighting for the whole eternity.

Killing humans was badly viewed since they weren't as strong as us and because they were neutral. They could chose to go to the "evil side" or to the "good side". I continued to eat human souls from that moment on. You also continued eating kishin souls and also human souls. I also ate shinigami souls. You may deny it, but I know you did eat those souls.

Do you know what? For each kishin's soul you ate I ate a shinigami's soul. This isn't a casuality. The shinigami and kishin numbers have to stay the same or terrible things will happen, because if the equilibrium was broken… the world will experience horrors. I broke the equilibrium, but you also broke it.

The more souls we ate the stronger we got. We became very powerful. So powerful that out power could be compared to the one's of a god, only slightly lower.

The world has a list of the souls that will become powerful. And we are listed there. But power doesn't bring good things only.

We became the leaders of our clans, the ones with the most power. The other kishin's then started doing the same as me: Eating the souls of the ones that they killed. Your clan then started defending the humans and eating kishin souls. This brought a consequence neither of us expected: For each kishin that died a shinigami also died. It was at that battle when the numbers of shinigami and kishin were made so reduced numbers. I say that right now there aren't more than 10 pure kishin's and shinigami's. Because kishins and shinigamis can now be born or made, but they aren't supernatural beings, they are tainted by their human past. This number doesn't count us, of course. Because of all the souls we ate we became semi-gods. If we are left alone we won't die. That can only happen if we are killed. The time for both of us to fight came, and I lost. This is why I am trapped in my skin prision.

You may think that I lied back there. I know you think I lied to you when I said "I love you"! But do you know what? I still feel that! And even if you hate me I still feel the same way as before. I will and always love you. It isn't an obsession or a simple crush. How can it possibly be that? I truly love you. Do you know that every soul has it's partner? That true happiness can only be achieved when we find our soul partner? Well, the only thing that I truly know is that we are soul partners. And even If you deny it it's true.

It may seem strange for me to feel this way. To feel love, I mean. After all I'm considered to be nothing more than a demon and a murderer. Good and evil don't exist, but it people won't just accept that I feel love.

I couldn't kill you back there, when we fought. And the same thing happened to you. Why would you then leave me alive? And that is why I am right now in my prision.

Can you imagine the pain of feeling all your skin being teared off? Can you imagine it? I guess not. I'll only tell you that it's not pleasant.

You and I are destinied to fight again and again and it cant be evaded. But even if we are destinied to fight each other we can't live without the other. We are like heaven and hell, like black and white. One cannot exist without the other. As I said we are soul partners. Like black and white. Opposite, yet we complement each other. And the very second that my soul disappears yours will also do that. Kishin will always exist as long as shinigami exist and vice versa. How can we put an end to this? Is it even possible? Is it destinied?

I can imagine your face as you read this. I don't even know how I managed this to get to you. And don't try to find out how I wrote this. I don't even know. So asking will prove effortlessly.

I'll just say something more: That as long you exist I'll exist, when you dissapear I'll dissapear. I'll stay in my prision longer, just remember that you are in a prission too. And one thing more, I love you.

Asura


End file.
